Christine's Diary
by LittleLottexoxEriksTrueAngel
Summary: The requiem mass is not at all gay, whereas the wedding massyou can take my word for itis magnificent! You must take a resolution and know your own mind! I can't go on living like this, like a mole in a burrow! Don Juan Triumphant is finished and now I wa
1. Christine's First PerformancePerros

Title: Christine's Diary

Author: LittleLottexoxEriksTrueAngel

Disclaimer: I do not own 'The Phantom Of The Opera'

A/N: This story is based solely on the novel by Gaston Leroux.

_I have never felt this way in my life. The feeling of performing on stage, in center stage, was so amazing and overwhelming. I could do nothing but faint. I gave my soul to Erik tonight, only to find an unsuspected visitor at my feet when I awoke. The Vicomte Raoul de Changy, my childhood friend. "I am the little boy who went into the sea to rescue your scarf." He was not the little boy who rescued my scarf from the sea; he was a man, a nobleman, who should not be seen with someone like me, a mere chorus girl at the opera. For his own sake I could not recognize him for I knew Erik was watching and when he said he would like to talk to me in private I knew that I should turn him away. When everyone had left Erik revealed himself only to plead for my love. He doesn't realize how much he hurts me when he does plead for my love. I gave him my soul tonight and now I am dead._

_Christine_

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_Raoul has sent a note to call on me. At first I sent no reply, but last night I decided to send my reply. I told him that I was going to Perros, for it was the anniversary of my father's death and he was buried there. The events at Perros did not go as I had hoped. When I returned from mass I sat in the lobby of the Setting Sun and I was not at all surprised when Raoul walked in. He said that he loved me and that he couldn't live without me. I didn't know how to respond. I couldn't let him know how I truly felt about him, especially since I knew my angel was close by. I laughed but I seemed to have offended him. I told him I thought he would remember our games here, as children, in which my father so often joined. I really don't know what I thought... Perhaps I was wrong to write to him...This anniversary and his sudden appearance in my room at the Opera, the other evening, reminded me of the time long past and made me write to him as the little girl that I then was. He sensed my distress but he went on asking questions. I had noticed him before he came to me in my dressing room. I couldn't answer him when he asked me why I answered him as though I did not know him and why I laughed when he came to my dressing room, his tone was rough but I could not answer him, I did not answer. He replied coldly, "Well, I will answer for you. It was because there was some one in the room who was in your way, Christine, some one that you did not wish to know that you could be interested in any one else!" I was so angry and surprised at what I found out, Raoul had been listening behind my door! He heard everything Erik and I had said. I felt a sudden pain in my chest and anger rush through my body. I felt the tears stream down my cheek. I had to sort this out. I brushed past Raoul and ran into my room, remaining there for a while debating over what to tell Raoul. I found Raoul at the heath overlooking the sea, the place where my father first told us the legend of the Angel of Music. I had decided to tell him the truth. I told him that I have been visited by the Angel of Music but he didn't seem to believe me even though he said he did. I told him that he gives me lessons in my dressing room daily and that it was the Angel of Music he heard with me in my dressing room. He laughed! How dare he! He thought he heard an ordinary mans voice! "Well, Christine, I think somebody is making a game out of you.", was his final response. With that I stormed off. Raoul ran after me but I turned him away yet again. At half past eleven that very same night I slipped out of my bedroom, down the stairs, and leaned over the baluster to get the key from the landlady. I headed towards the cemetery. I thought I heard someone behind me but I didn't have the time to look back and find out and I knew that if someone had followed me it would be Raoul. How right I was! The gate was open just as he said it would be. I knelt down by my father's grave and began to pray. As soon as the final chime rang at twelve o'clock I outstretched my arms and then the most perfect music began to play. I recognized the song immediately. It was The Resurrection of Lazarus, a song my father used to play to Raoul and I when we were young. My angel had played for me. When the song ended I made my way to the gate and headed towards the Setting Sun. _

_Christine_

**A/N: So what do you think? I had originally posted it on another website and decided to post it here. Please, review.**


	2. The Bal Masque

Title: Christine's Diary

Author: LittleLottexoxEriksTrueAngel

Chapter Two: The Bal Masque

Disclaimer: I do not own 'The Phantom Of The Opera'.

_I sent Raoul another letter today. I asked him to meet me at the masked ball and I asked him to meet me at twelve o'clock. We met at the ball as planned but I didn't get to tell Raoul what I wanted to. He was determined to catch Erik, Red Death, as he was tonight. . "I shall know whom you love and who loves you!" I wanted to scream, "It is you I love!" but I stopped myself. I wanted to tell him, I **needed** to tell him. He burst into a mad laugh making his way towards the door of the box. I flung out my arms _

_"In the name of our love, Raoul, you shall not pass!" _

_He stopped, obviously debating whether or not he should believe me. He didn't. "You lie, madam, for you do not love me and you have never loved me! What a poor fellow I must be to let you mock and flout me as you have done! Why did you give me every reason for hope, at Perros... for honest hope, madam, for I am an honest man and I believed you to be an honest woman, when your only intention was to deceive me! Alas, you have deceived us all! You have taken a shameful advantage of the candid affection of your benefactress herself, who continues to believe in your sincerity while you go about the Opera ball with Red Death! I despise you!" He burst into tears. I just stood there. The only thing on my mind was the keep him from leaving the box. _

_"You will beg my pardon, one day, for all those ugly words, Raoul, and when you do I shall forgive you!" I said finally. _

_He shook his head. "No, no, you have driven me mad! When I think that I had only one object in life: to give my name to an opera wench!"_

_"Raoul...How can you?"_

_"I shall die of shame!"_

_"No, dear, live! And...Good-by. Good-by, Raoul..."_

_I left the room and Raoul followed, shouting some sarcastic remarks at me. I told him that I was never going to sing again and that he would never see me again. _

_He asked, "May one ask at least to what darkness you are returning? For what hell are you leaving, mysterious lady...or for what paradise?" _

_I would not tell him for he has lost faith in me. _

_"But look here!" he cried out to me. "Can't you tell me what all this means! You are free; there is no one to interfere with you. ... You go about Paris...You put on a domino to come to the ball... Why do you not go home? What have you been doing this past fortnight? What is this tale about the Angel of Music, which you have been telling Mamma Valerius? Some one may have taken you in, played upon your innocence. I was a witness of it myself, at Perros...but you know what to believe now! You seem to me quite sensible, Christine. You know what you are doing...And meanwhile Mamma Valerius lies waiting for you at home and appealing to your good genius!'...Explain yourself, Christine, I beg of you! Any one might have been deceived as I was. What is this farce?" _

_I told him it is a tragedy and with that I put on my mask and started to leave. "My dearest! My dearest! You promised to forgive me..." he cried out. _

_"Perhaps! Some day, perhaps!" I replied and I left, forbidding Raoul to follow me. _

_I went to my dressing room and muttered to myself poor Erik, and then I began to write. I quickly hid the sheets in my bodice. It was then that I heard the music begin to play. Erik. A smile filled my face. He was singing the wedding night song from Romeo and Juliet. I stretched out my arms towards the voice as he sang "Fate links thee to me forever and a day". I walked towards my image in the mirror. I felt like I was spinning and then Erik was beside me._

_Christine_

**A/N: What do you all think? Please let me know! REVIEW!**


	3. At Mamma Valerius' Home

Title: Christine's Diary

Author: LittleLottexoxEriksTrueAngel

Chapter Three: At Mamma Valerius' Home

Disclaimer: I, no matter how much I wish I did, do not own 'The Phantom Of The Opera'. Also, any direct quotes from the book belong solely to Gaston Leroux.

Now…Onto the story….

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_I went to visit Mama Valerius today and Raoul came for a visit also. As he walked in I rose and offered him my hand. _

_Mama Valerius was the first to speak, "Well, M. de Chagny, don't you know our Christine? Her good genius has sent her back to us!" _

_"I thought, Mamma, that there was to be no more question of that! You know there is no such thing as the Angel of Music!"_

_"But, child, he gave you lessons for three months!"_

_"Mamma, I have promised to explain everything to you one of these days; and I hope to do so but you have promised me, until that day, to be silent and to ask me no more questions whatever!"_

_"Provided that you promised never to leave me again! But have you promised that, Christine?" she replied._

_"Mamma, all this can not interest M. de Chagny."_

_"On the contrary, mademoiselle," said Raoul, "anything that concerns you interests me to an extent which perhaps you will one day understand. I do not deny that my surprise equals my pleasure at finding you with your adopted mother and that, after what happened between us yesterday, after what you said and what I was able to guess, I hardly expected to see you here so soon. I should be the first to delight at your return, if you were not so bent on preserving a secrecy that may be fatal to you...and I have been your friend too long not to be alarmed, with Mme. Valerius, at a disastrous adventure which will remain dangerous so long as we have not unraveled its threads and of which you will certainly end by being the victim, Christine."_

_This made Mama Valerius uneasy._

_She tried to get answers from Raoul but he doesn't know the truth of the matter. Mama Valerius was terrified of what Raoul said, of me being in danger. I pleaded with her not to believe him and that I was in no danger but all she wanted was for me to promise that I would never leave her again. That I could not promise. Still he went on trying to get me to promise to Mama Valerius and himself that I am to remain under their protection. Still I refused. _

_Then, he noticed my ring. _

_He tried to grab my hand to examine the ring further but I pulled away. I told him that the ring was a present but he argued that the ring was a promise and the promise was accepted. I eventually asked him what he saw. _

_He replied "I saw your ecstasy at the sound of the voice, Christine: the voice that came from the wall or the next room to yours...yes, your ecstasy! And that is what makes me alarmed on your behalf. You are under a very dangerous spell. And yet it seems that you are aware of the imposture, because you say to-day that there is no Angel of Music! In that case, Christine, why did you follow him that time? Why did you stand up, with radiant features, as though you were really hearing angels?...Ah, it is a very dangerous voice, Christine, for I myself, when I heard it, was so much fascinated by it that you vanished before my eyes without my seeing which way you passed! Christine, Christine, in the name of Heaven, in the name of your father who is in Heaven now and who loved you so dearly and who loved me too, Christine, tell us, tell your benefactress and me, to whom does that voice belong? If you do, we will save you in spite of yourself. Come, Christine, the name of the man! The name of the man who had the audacity to put a ring on your finger!" _

_I told him that he shall never know the name of the man. He countered that he believes that this man is not worthy of my love, yet he does not know anything about him...about Erik. _

_Then came the biggest shock...Raoul's next words, "I at least know the name that you thought to keep from me for ever...The name of your Angel of Music, Mademoiselle, is Erik!" _

_I felt myself paling. _

"_Who told you?" was all I could manage to say. _

"_You yourself!"_

"_How do you mean?" I know I never mentioned his name to Raoul nor anyone else._

_"By pitying him the other night, the night of the masked ball. When you went to your dressing-room, did you not say, Poor Erik?' Well, Christine, there was a poor Raoul who overheard you." He had spied on me again! _

"_I was not behind the door...I was in the dressing-room, in the inner room, mademoiselle." He explained._

_"Unhappy man! Do you want to be killed?" I was terrified and I had no intention of hiding it._

_"Perhaps." I could hear the pain and__despair in his voice. I began to cry and took his hands. _

_"Raoul, forget the man's voice and do not even remember its name. You must never try to fathom the mystery of the man's voice."_

_"Is the mystery so very terrible?"_

_"There is no more awful mystery on this earth. Swear to me that you will make no attempt to find out," I insisted. "Swear to me that you will never come to my dressing-room, unless I send for you."_

_I promised to send for him tomorrow and he swore to do as I asked. He kissed my hands softly and left. I can hear him cursing Erik as he left. Mama Valerius and I were left to finish our conversation alone._

_Christine_

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_**A/N: What did you all think? Let me know in a REVIEW!!!!**_


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